Hangover: Football Season is Officially Disappointing (and unofficially over)

Perhaps I've been spoiled.

There was a Saturday late in 2005 when football really started to click for me. Where I really started to get into it, and never really looked back. Close friends (read: "captive audiences to my nonsense") have heard me wax about this one particular game, which I will remain forever fond of. Suffice it to say that, if you don't know off-hand which game I'm referring to, you should check the link and find some familiar names.

Because of that game and what it spawned for 7 and a half years to come... because of 70-33 and Rodney Landers and Scottie McGee and 21-16 and Pat White and Steve Slaton and literally never seeing a losing season in my entire football fandom, perhaps I've been spoiled.

That's not to say I haven't seen gridiron heartache. Maine's swinging gate 2-point conversion in double overtime in the first year of the new BFS. Suddenly being unable to beat Syracuse, of all teams. Freshman quarterback Justin Thorpe fumbling away a chance to upset No. 1 Richmond at the five-yard line with 30 seconds left in the game, down 21-17. Watching a lock for the Heisman lose five consecutive games before turning it around at Iowa no-one-is-impressed State and limping to a 7-5 regular season record. And of course, one game from 2007 that I won't even mention.

I can't help but shake this feeling that, though I've seen consistent success for years, things could have been far better. I'm talking National Championships, for both of my squads. JMU came so close in 2008, only to lose in the semifinals and stay mired in mediocrity throughout my entire undergrad career. West Virginia... well, that they were left out of the National Championship in 2007 is still something I'm hot about to this day. #weneedaplayoff.

But the fact that I'm sitting here, reflecting on perceived slights from an 11-2 season from six years ago tells you all you need to know.

I have been, quite unequivocally, an incredibly spoiled fan.


Stony Brook 41, JMU 38

This loss has been a long time coming. Ever since I noticed just how soft JMU's "soft zone" really is during the 2011 season, I have wondered: why doesn't every team throw the ball on every play against us?

No team has ever been able to run the ball particularly effectively against JMU. Seriously. Look it up. WVU? Dukes outgained them 188-121 on the ground. In ODU's playoff-killing, comeback win last November 17, the Monarchs finished with -4 yards. And yesterday, Stony Brook, for all their offensive dominance, didn't even reach 100 yards rushing. And that's playing from ahead, too, when you're supposed to be running the ball.

But passing is a different story. Maine was the first to really find the Dukes' kryptonite. They kept hitting that big tight end of theirs, riding him all the way to an improbable road win over an eventual playoff team, the crown jewel of their postseason resume. Villanova did it last year; ODU only had to do it for one half of a game to stamp out JMU's season. Delaware and New Hampshire, sure, they threw the ball around the yard to some extent earlier this season, but Stony Brook -- fucking Stony Brook -- they sold out for it, and in return, put up more points on the vaunted JMU defense than I'm pretty sure I've ever seen from an FCS school.

Fire Mickey Matthews or don't; I don't really care to talk about that. Yesterday, the problem wasn't a man -- it was a scheme. And until JMU drops this soft zone BS, until JMU is smart enough to even consider playing some press coverage at all, you can forget the playoffs. You can forget about the conference championships. Because any yahoo with a competent quarterback and a film room is going to drop 35 points a game on the Dukes, inside Bridgeforth Stadium or out of it.


Kansas 31, West Virginia 19

As of Friday, November 15, 2013, Kansas hadn't won a football game in 27 contests. Did you know that? I did.

Something else I knew: once Geno Smith, Tavon Austin, and Stedman Bailey left for the NFL after West Virginia's first year in the Big 12, things were going to get worse before they got better again.

WVU fans are rioting in the streets. Sort of like what's going on at JMU, only way more irrationally, with way less information and context. (And, obviously, stuff is on fire.) My twitter timeline was nothing but West Virginia doomsday language for most of yesterday afternoon and evening. Fire Dana Holgorsen after 3 years! The world is ending! You'd think the Obama administration bombed Appalachia a la Catching Fire.

To be honest, there aren't very many words I can pair together to describe the season West Virginia is having right now. We're running an air raid offense without a competent quarterback. That sort of spells disaster right there, doesn't it?

I'd like to see the people who looked down their nose at Bill Stewart's 9-4 seasons. 9-4 looks pretty good right now for those of us with old gold jerseys hanging on our bedroom walls.

Bottom line? Rich Rodriguez finished 3-8 in 2001. You may remember: he went on to do some particularly impressive things. Some seasons... it's just not your year.



Other scores and observations from this weekend:


Florida 14, No. 10 South Carolina 19

One of the only reprieves of this season has been watching how terrible the mighty Florida Gators are. Not that the SEC East is that much better.

No. 12 Oklahoma State 38, No. 24 Texas 13

This is your weekly reminder that West Virginia beat Oklahoma State.

Texas Tech 34, No. 5 Baylor 63

If Baylor makes it to the National Championship game, the high school class of 2014 will have a lot of future cardiologists in it.

Michigan 27, Northwestern 19 (3OT)

My friend Quincy and I had a bet going that there's no such thing as a boring triple overtime game. He now owes me a brand new Xbox One, and a lifetime's supply of Cook Out.

Indiana 3, No. 22 Wisconsin 51

The only reason I'm even bothering to mention this game is because Wisconsin ran for FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-FOUR yards of offense. 554 yards rushing. That's unfathomable. I'm not sure I could run for 554 yards against an empty field.

Iowa State 10, No. 18 Oklahoma 48

If WVU loses to Iowa State in Morgantown in two weeks, seriously, someone better lock me in a padded cell.

No. 17 Central Florida 39, Temple 36

#VideoGameCatches RT @bubbaprog: ANIMATED: UCF ties Temple on best TD catch of the year http://t.co/U5YbcMBcZi
— Chase Kiddy (@ckiddysports) November 16, 2013

West Virginia 19, Kansas 31
North Carolina 34, Pittsburgh 27
Maryland 27, Virginia Tech 24 (OT)
No. 23 Miami 30, Duke 48

Seriously, basketball gods? What the fuck.

Kentucky 6, Vanderbilt 22

Vanderbilt and Duke are now both bowl eligible. In that spirit, the ACC and SEC are announcing the brand new Pocket Protector Bowl! Sponsored by the Apple Genius Bar. The winning team gets to hand out Gatorade swirlies, then lock the losing team members in their lockers for the entire off-season.

No. 4 Stanford 17, Southern Cal 20

Quite simply, Stanford defense couldn't get the same type of penetration they usually get in conference games.

Syracuse 3, No. 2 Florida State 59

Wow. Jameis Winston really raped Syracuse.

No. 1 Alabama 20, Mississippi State 7
No. 25 Georgia 38, No. 7 Auburn 43

I have been so thoroughly unimpressed by Alabama this year. I will be purchasing 83 pet war eagles next week, then planting one in each Tuscaloosa Townhouse where Crimson Tide players reside, framing them for both improper benefits with a local pet shop and consorting with potential enemy mascots. Only one is a capital offense inside the state of Alabama. Can you guess which one?




Programming note: I know it's basketball season. Full coverage of JMU's inauspicious start to their CAA title defense at UVA, plus the NIU invitational, is in progress. Check back later in the week for that; in the meantime, just yell BALL NIGHT on random Wednesdays and Sundays like you're Michael Wilbon.

Some Bye Week Thoughts on JMU, CAA

We're entering the meat of the college football season: Mid-October and beyond. Conferences are starting to take on some definition. Even after losing teams to realignment, the CAA seems as deep as it ever was, after a weekend where we saw the newcomers step up to the plate and look dominant in an out-of-conference matchup (Stony Brook @ Colgate) or at least like a live dog on the road (Albany @ Delaware).

Five Colonial teams are 2-1 or better, so after a little bit of JMU talk, I'll be walking through the CAA contenders and forecasting who'll be in or out of the playoffs.

#18 JMU 38, Richmond 31

So we're starting at home in Harrisonburg, obviously, with the not-as-close-as-the-score-looked win over the Richmond Spiders. And despite giving up 22 points in the 4th quarter, this was one of the best games I've watched JMU play in some time. The playcalling was dynamic, particularly in the second half. Dae'Quan Scott, Khalid Abdullah, and Daniel Brown all look like first-rate conference playmakers. Birdsong wasn't perfect, overthrowing a receiver early on and getting picked play by a safety playing center field, but looked lethal spinning the ball downfield in the second half. He still needs to learn how to throw the ball away -- I think I saw him unnecessarily run the ball out of bounds for a loss close to half a dozen times -- but the Dukes' signal caller really looked lethal out there for large portions of Saturday's game.

On defense, JMU gave up 423 passing yards through the air, but since UR also set a stadium record for pass attempts, I think you can likely write the yardage off as a function of playing from behind as well as the Spiders' offensive strengths. The Spiders have too much talent on offense for JMU to completely shut them down, but on Saturday, the Dukes truly looked like a successful "bend, don't break" defense. Richmond got past midfield several times, but couldn't put 6 up on the board until the fourth quarter when the game was already out of hand.

Hugely underrated aspect of this game has been UR's inability to block #JMU without holding them. 3 big penalties have wiped out nice gains.
— Chase Kiddy (@ckiddysports) October 12, 2013

The pass rush was out in force last Saturday. Whether it was sacks or just forcing the UR offensive line to hold, JMU's defense did its job. It's going to give up big plays and it's going to give up yardage. But there's enough playmakers at all three levels of the defense to make big stops and force key turnovers, and that will be big throughout the rest of the regular season... and perhaps beyond.

As for Richmond, they're a decent teams suffering a bad fate. Their schedule gets awfully winnable after this, drawing Rhode Island, Stony Brook, and Albany over the next four weeks. They won't make the playoffs, but circle October 26 on your calendar. When Towson comes to Richmond and the Spiders are playing for pride, anything could happen.

And JMU, going forward? Well, the Dukes will need to survive Williamsburg on October 26, a game that will likely be a lot closer than people realize. If JMU gets caught looking past the Tribe toward a home showdown with undefeated Villanova on November 2, it could seriously jeopardize the Dukes' playoff chances... again.

I like JMU by double digits at home vs Stony Brook and at New Hampshire, and I'll give them the benefit of the doubt after a bye week at Bill & Mary. Assuming JMU splits with Nova and Towson, the Dukes are looking at a 9-3 overall record, with a 6-2 conference record. That's likely not good enough for a CAA title, but a 9-3 JMU team is a lock for the FCS playoffs... assuming they take care of business.



Delaware (5-2, 2-1 CAA)

The Hens have a somewhat high ceiling but a low floor, which is why you see them upend JMU, then get blown out by Maine and barely edge out Albany (the conference's worst team) at home. The Hens will get to 3-1 at Rhode Island this weekend, but with Towson, W&M, Richmond, and the annual rivalry game vs Villanova over the final four weeks, this teams nice start to conference play will ultimately be undone.

Verdict: Will not make Playoffs


Towson (6-1, 2-1 CAA)

The fightin' Rob Ambroses have the talent to win a conference title and go deep into the playoffs, but they've already lost a key matchup with Villanova at home. That means they'll need help from JMU and Maine/Delaware if they want to grab the CAA's automatic bid. I think that's probably too much to ask for. I don't see them finishing worse than 9-3, with all three losses coming in the heart of conference play. With 9 wins, a top-four CAA finish, and an upset win over the hapless UConn Huskies, Towson is locked into the playoffs.

Verdict: Will not win CAA; will make playoffs


Maine (5-1, 2-0 CAA)

You could play football in the Virginia High School League's Central District in Richmond and play a tougher schedule than Maine has this year. I don't know what kind of dirt the boys from Maine have on the league office, but this schedule is a gift from Walter Peyton himself. Maine travels to Philly for a road game with Villanova on October 26; that's going to be the big ole Black Bear's only loss. And if Nova stumbles down the stretch, Maine will be first in line to grab the crown at 10-2 with only one conference loss.

Verdict: Will not win CAA; will make playoffs


Villanova (4-2, 3-0 CAA)

Drawing Maine and JMU in back-to-back weekends is tough sledding for Villanova, particularly when they already played Towson. But what do you want me to do, feel sorry for them?

I like the Cats to win the CAA, but it won't be bloodless. They're going to lose at JMU. They're going to win the conference. But they're going to lose at JMU. Say it with me now kids. THEY'RE GOING TO LOSE AT JMU. RIGHT? AM I RIGHT? I'M RIGHT, RIGHT?

Verdict: Will win CAA


So there you have it. Four CAA teams make an expanded FCS playoff field. Sounds about right.

September Hangover

BREAKING NEWS: It's the last day of September. Hold your tears though, baby birds. Because I'm gonna feed you.

WVU 30, #11 Oklahoma State 21:

So what is the anomaly? The defensive domination of a high-flying Air Raid that hasn't scored 21 points or fewer since 2011? Or the 38-0 shutout embarrassment at the hands of Maryland, a team West Virginia hasn't lost to since dinosaurs roamed the Earth, that put most Mountaineer fans on the edge of a cliff, peering over the edge in search of greener pastures? How many more questions can I ask? And how many of them will be obvious run-on sentences? I DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS.

Seriously, I have no idea what to think of this team. None. In truth, I didn't even get to watch this game, as I was at work for most of it and then driving to Charlottesville to visit my suddenly collegiate little sister for the rest of it. Don't worry, though. Driving through Shenandoah National Park, the shoulders were just large enough for me to pull off the road every couple of minutes, and the 3G was just good enough for me to make out a late Darwin Cook interception, a ridiculous couple of plays leading to a game-clinching field goal attempt, and the small, but very real word "Final" scrawled across the top of my ScoreCenter app. 30-21, West by God.

This is likely the best (regular season) win of the Dana Holgy era, given how mediocre Texas has proved to be over the last two years. And I have no clue what that means. It's almost certainly going to nab us a couple of extra recruits, and cements Keith Patterson as defensive coordinator for at least the foreseeable future. It likely means Clint Trickett is the guy for the Mountaineers, solving the biggest (and maybe only) big question mark the team has faced this season.

But what it means more than all of these things is that WVU has an October 5 date with #17 Baylor in prime time, and it's now the biggest game of the season. Because if West Virginia can walk out of Waco with a win, then it's time to stop talking about a new head coach... and start talking about a potential Big XII championship.

Delaware 29, #14 JMU 22

Unlike the West Virginia game, I did get to catch at least the second half of this particular contest. Which is probably why they lost. The curse of my fandom, folks. It's real.

From my best estimates, it seems that the defense was legit and the offense was at least productive in the first half. But I'm really here to talk exclusively about the second half of this game, which is clearly where this game was decided. Let's break down some talking points here.

-Cameron Starke. I understand that he left four points on the board, missing an extra point and then a field goal at the beginning of the second half. Four points could have made a big difference too; in addition to the obvious momentum lost in the third quarter after the missed field goal, four extra points on the board means they only would have needed a field goal coming down the stretch. That changes up the atmosphere and the play-calling entirely. 

All that being said, this game is not Cameron Starke's fault. He is, by and large, a lights out kicker, the calibre of which a school like JMU probably has no business having. (Starke is a transfer PK from, guess where: West Virginia.) He's hit 47 and 48-yarders. Not in practice, either. In live games. I've seen him do it. There's plenty of FBS schools that wish they could unpack that kind of firepower, let alone schools at the championship subdivision. JMU enters every game with an advantage in the kicking game, and that's all Starke. He gets a pass from me.

Starke now 2-for-4 FG as his 33-yarder sails wide & #BlueHens regain ball at 20-yd line. They trail #JMUDukes, 19-7, at 8:07 in 3Q. #CAAFB
— CAA Football (@CAAFootball) September 29, 2013

One last thing with the kicking game. I would like to confirm with other football-heads that field goals, are not, in fact, extra point attempts?

Our bad, Starke is 2-for-3 on FG tonight, w/ that 33-yarder serving as 1st miss of 2013. Thanks to @ckiddysports for the correction. #CAAFB
— CAA Football (@CAAFootball) September 29, 2013

Ahh, I see. Never mind. Sanity has been restored. Let's move on.

-Birdsong. The ceiling is so high here. Birdsong had three stand-out plays that I can recall in the second half. The first was a bullet that Birdsong threaded over the middle right between two UD defenders for a 20-yard pickup. The second was only a 5 or 6-yard scramble, but it was how he did it that was so explicitly incredible.

Birdsong LITERALLY just Heisman'd a UD defender on a qb keeper. I just yelled. Loudly. In public.
— Chase Kiddy (@ckiddysports) September 29, 2013

Stiff-armed him and threw him onto the ground mid-stride. I pissed my pants. I suppose it could have been the alcohol. But I'm pretty sure it was the Birdsong.

The third and most important thing that I noticed was the sacks. More than once, the offensive line allowed a sack in the second half, and as the pocket collapsed, Birdsong did something very important: he tucked the ball and went down. He didn't try to be Justin Thorpe. He didn't try to be a hero. Birdsong, likely under very specific instructions from his coaching staff, just protected the ball and took the sack.

Never forget, people: JMU quarterback Michael Birdsong has only eight more starts than I do. He's still growing. His ceiling is high, but for now, fans need to be patient with offensive shortcomings. Even in a loss, he looked pretty good. And he's only going to get better.

-Personnel use. Dae'Quan Scott ran the ball on the first play of the fourth quarter. He didn't get another touch the rest of the game. Either he injured himself, or that's a gross misuse of talent. You're only down one score, Mickey. You don't need to head into the two minute drill when there's 12 minutes left in the game.

-Trench play. Did JMU's D-line miss Sage Harold? I think they did. And while Jordan Stanton and Tyler Snow are arguably the two best players with a hand on the ground, it's hard to ignore the raw production that Harold gives JMU up front. JMU has made other team's offensive lines look like garbage, piling up sack statistics that are just stupid, yet they were held without a sack all game at Delaware. Our secondary is talented, but it's never been so raw that they could get by without pressure up front. See: all of 2012.

And the offensive line. You could argue the offensive line was the reason for the meltdown. They allowed four sacks, all in the second half, three of which came on third down. And the results of those three drives: missed field goal, punt which led to Delaware TD, punt which led to Delaware TD.

-Coaching. I don't even know where to start here. The apparent lack of halftime adjustments is inexcusable. This was a problem on Saturday; it was a problem at Akron; it was a problem with ODU last November; it's been a problem for a while, and I've only been watching this team since 2008. (side note: it wasn't much of a problem in 2008.)

As for playcalling: look, I understand Mickey had an epiphany over the off-season, that he wants to run more plays and be a more balanced offense. I understand that Mike O'Cain is now a large part of the picture and that he must receive credit and/or blame whenever playcalling is good and/or terrible. But the staff, as a whole, needs to sit down an develop an offensive identity. It's a different version of the same problem JMU suffered from last season. In 2012, JMU ran the wildcat, jet sweeps, zone reads, designed keepers, the option, reverses, and of course, the timeless, unforgettable "Dae'Quan Scott runs into the ass of [insert name of any offensive lineman here] for no gain" play. And yeah, believe me, that was openly mocked in the Bridgeforth Stadium press box.

One year later, JMU is throwing the ball all over the yard -- the Dukes have outgained every opponent so far this season, and usually by a pretty considerable margin -- but I still feel like this is a team that's just trying to do too much. Rather than master what it's good at, JMU just hopes it can sneak into the end zone after throwing its own kitchen sink at the other team on the field. So my question, which should have been asked years ago, is this:

How does a team that doesn't know what it's good at, expect to be any good?



Other scores and observations from this weekend:

No. 23 Wisconsin 24, No. 4 Ohio State 31

Great win and a big hurdle for the Buckeyes and Urban Meyer, who is gunning for a Saban-Meyer rematch.
Also, that game ball is gonna be worth a lot of tattoos.

No. 14 Oklahoma 35, No. 22 Notre Dame 21

I don't know how much more plainly I can say this: Notre Dame is not that good. They were an average team with 29 seniors and a severely overrated schedule last year; this year, they have neither.

No. 10 Texas A&M 45, Arkansas 33

Does this still count as an SEC game?

No. 12 South Carolina 28, UCF 25

The good news for UCF is that, despite the loss, they're still for my money the best non-AQ team in these United States.

The bad news for UCF is that they must live in constant fear of an impending invasion of Herpes-infested African monkeys.

UVA 3, Pitt 14

I was in Charlottesville on Saturday, right after the loss. They suck, and they know it. At least they're good at the other football.

Arizona 13, No. 16 Washington 31

Eat your heart out, Rich Rod.

USC 41, Arizona State 62

Rough loss for the fightin' latexes. However, I have the utmost confidence in Lane Kiffin as USC's head... well, fuck.

No. 6 LSU 41, No. 9 Georgia 44

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: you've gotta love the SEC for their sturdy, reliable defensive prowess. They're not afraid to grind out wins.

Virginia Tech 17, Georgia Tech 10

Don't get excited, acolytes. Your team still sucks ass.

No. 21 Ole Miss 0, No. 1 Alabama 25

True story: twice last year, Nick Saban had a wet dream about winning a football game 25-0. He was upset when he woke up, though. Changing the sheets in his master bedroom took away from his recruitment time.

JMU, Conference USA, and other September Shenanigans

About 9 days ago, I started hearing some JMU-to-Conference-USA rumors. No big deal. Rumors fly all the time.

About two days ago, though, I was still hearing them. In my experience, these rumors sweep over social media like wildfire, and are extinguished by the wet reality of truth in a matter of days. So to be hearing them a full week later was... notable.

Then, this afternoon, after a long day of pretending to build an online portfolio and mooching food off of relatives, my former Breeze Sports co-editor Wayne Epps Jr. directed me to this page on the CSN message boards. The ethos doesn't exactly jump off the page at you, but the fact that this potentially informed person was echoing other things I heard was enough to make me sit up off the couch, pause my second Skyrim play-through, and make a few phone calls. The Stormcloak Rebellion can wait.

Before I did anything, I confirmed some information I've been sitting on for a while, as long as did some research into some other topics. They are as follows:

• The Carr Report is completed, and has been for some time.
  
  Many of you have heard about a feasibility report headed to the JMU Board of Visitors that will supposedly recommend or advise against a move for the Dukes to the Football Bowl Subdivision. What you might not know is that this report has been complete for several weeks. While a few members of the Athletic Department have seen bits and pieces, the only person that I know of who has seen the report in its entirety is athletic director Jeff Bourne, and he will be the one to present the report to the BoV next Friday, October 4. It is that same Friday that JMU supposedly will announce its move to the C-USA, if you buy into the rumors which are currently circulating.

• JMU has an open-ended offer from the Sun Belt that can be accepted at any time.
  
  Details may have changed since I last heard about this, but the gist of it is that the Sun Belt is interested enough in JMU that they have extended an offer to the athletic department that can be accepted at any points. They feel very strongly that JMU can significantly raise the profile of their conference and are showing their faith with a convenient, if desperate, offer. JMU hasn't accepted this offer as of yet, and I would think that, if they were to, they would at least wait until the Carr Report comes down. However, I have a hunch JMU has its sites set higher than the Sun Belt.

• ODU is actively campaigning for JMU to join Conference USA.
  
  I don't like how it looks -- like big brother ODU, who has played football for all of three years and four weeks, is pulling us up to their esteemed level, and oh thank you, blessed sons of Norfolk, for doing us such a favor in our time of need! But at a certain point, I'm guessing Leonardo DiCaprio would have let anyone, even his worst enemy, throw him a lifejacket.. if it meant he could keep making out with Kate Winslet. (Kate Winslet, in this case, is a bigger TV deal.) Both AD Wood Selig and head football coach Bobby Wilder have been on the record in the media, trying to pressure their new conference into adding JMU. It's hard to ignore their logic: JMU makes for natural rivals with Marshall, ODU, and ECU. And Charlotte, if they ever get any good. Based on last Saturday, that rivalry might be a ways off, though.

• Conference USA officials have experimented with a 16-team conference model, and have made trips to JMU in the recent months.
  
  I'm still working on nailing down exactly when officials were on campus, but I do have credible information that they were here and came away impressed with the facilities. And why wouldn't they be? A brand new athletics park, an engaged campus, a premier FCS football stadium, and let's not forget the sexy, ninth-ranked DC market to slip their grubby little hands into.

So what does all that add up to? Well here's what it likely doesn't mean: an imminent decision to move to Conference USA. After a long talk with one notable source in the Athletic Department, it would be wholly irresponsible for the BoV to hear the Carr Report and vote on a cataclysmic Athletics move all in the same day. Furthermore, the BoV hasn't scheduled a vote on anything in the near future, and the University can't announce a move without approval from the board.

But the most damning reason why you shouldn't expect any big JMU news next week is because they're too invested in their own success. As much as JMU may need to move up to stay viable in the long term as an athletic program, it almost certainly won't force its own teams into an ineligible season when its Men's Basketball, Women's Basketball, and Softball teams have legitimate chances to win their conference.

That doesn't mean you won't see a move up this year. JMU has until June 1 to announce any intentions to swap conferences, which leaves a nice 2-4 week period after all the conference tournaments where JMU can announce any C-USA plans, for next year, penalty free. Even if the decision comes internally by next Friday, I expect no official announcements will come in the immediate future. Given that the suddenly resurgent men's basketball team has a chance to defend its title and return to the NCAA tournament, it's hard to imagine the school throwing that opportunity away.

The Glorious Return of... The Hangover

BEFORE WE GET THIS YEAR'S FIRST HANGOVER STARTED: I have taught myself how to embed tweets into my blog posts. You are about to drown in a torrent of my own self-absorbed hilarity. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.


#19 JMU 38, Central Connecticut State 14

On one hand, I'm kind of surprised the Dukes only rang up 38 points against CCSU, a team whose defense was leakier than the Flying Dutchman last year. It's supposedly improved this year. So is West Virginia's. I digress.

It's hard to really take a lot away from this game, not only because of the opponent, but because of the way the game, particularly the second half, unfolded. But some of the things I saw that I liked:


-The play-calling. My goodness, the play-calling. I am a cow over the fucking moon with the play-calling. There were sweeps, dives, screens, and, wait for it, passes 10+ yards down the field! Most importantly, it was all very well mixed together, it was at pace, and it was executed, to the most part, with a high degree of efficiency and effectiveness. This is what a non-stagnant offense looks like. For too many years now, JMU has coasted by on poor play calling because of the caliber of athlete the program attracts. I won't get all worked up over one game against a directional school from a state the size of large Arby's, but Mike O'Cain clearly passes his first test. If Mickey gives him that sort of creative control over the offense all year, this team will make the playoffs. It's that simple.

-Let's stick with the offense. Birdsong is bull-headed, which I think is mostly a good thing. He said something sort of poignant in the post-game press conference along the lines of 'I'm 240 pounds, and if I can go one-on-one with some DB, I'm going to run his ass over.' I'm paraphrasing here, but the takeaway was starkly unlike the typical QB towline of Slide first, ask questions when you miss the first down line later.

For the most part, I think this is a good thing. Maybe it means MB doesn't know his own value to the team; maybe it doesn't. And while it's true JMU is startlingly barren behind Birdsong at quarterback, what this probably just means is that Mike is big, he knows it, and his legs are just a potent a weapon on offense as his arm is.

-Dae'Quan Scott, God love him, actually said after the game that he felt it was the worst game of his career. Child, please. You had 197 all-purpose. You ran a punt back 57 yards for a touchdown. And, oh yeah:

Breaking #CAAFB news: Dae'Quan Scott is first CAA Special Teams Player of the Week. CB Taylor Reynolds is first Rookie of the Week. #JMU
— Chase Kiddy (@ckiddysports) September 2, 2013

Yeah, I break news occasionally. So what? This moment is about Dae'Quan. Stop trying to take this away from him, cynical reader.

-There were ten caught passes. Eight players registered a reception. That is all.



-On defense: Dean Marlowe and Stephon Robertson were, well, they were Dean Marlowe and Stephon Robertson.

Dean Marlowe with a filthy, ball-hawking pick sets #JMU up onA doorstep for its 5th touchdown of the evening. Dukes in complete control.
— Chase Kiddy (@ckiddysports) September 1, 2013

Robertson led the team in tackles, along with redshirt freshman Gage Steele, part of the much-heralded #1 recruiting class. We all know Robertson is a beast, but Steele is a new commodity. It seems his natural position is middle linebacker, like what Robertson plays, but JMU has moved him to weak-side LB because, let's be real, a freshman isn't unseating an All-American.

-The defense was so lights out in the second half that offense basically didn't play. Let's recap:

On the opening drive of the second half, CCSU throws an incomplete on third and 4. Blue Devils punt the ball. Scott returns ball for touchdown.

Next possession: thanks to an offside penalty, CCSU moves up from 3rd and 9 to 3rd and 4. Commence Bridgeforth getting loud as hell. Two consecutive false starts push Blue Devils back to 3rd and 14. Blue Devils QB Andrew Clements, now getting desperate, launches a prayer 20 yards down the field, which became said filthy, ball-hawking Dean Marlowe interception. JMU kicks field goal.

Next possession: On third and 10, Clements again launches one, this time 30 yards downfield. Same result: picked off by quarterback-turned-cornerback Taylor Reynolds, returned for a touchdown.

Next possession: Look, the JMU defense is only human. They've literally been on the field the entire third quarter thus far, and they're staring down the barrel of yet another possession. CCSU runs 13 plays and 8 minutes off the clock... yet they only make up 35 yards. Even when they're tired, this defense is pretty good, it seems.

-The Crowd! Hell Yes! Go crowd go! Be all that you can be!

The student section was rocking the entire first half and into the third quarter. The north end zone was also filled out, which is where I often see some of the more lackadaisical fans/empty pockets. The only empty parts I saw were in the upper decks, which is acceptable for CCSU. I get it. ESPN has a bigger campus than Central Connecticut. Fine. As long as we're full for big home games (looking at you, Villanova), my bitching will be at a minimum.

Tonight's attendance: 23,541.
— Matthew Stoss (@MatthewStoss) September 1, 2013

Given the circumstances, I find this to be acceptable.



Obviously I'm nitpicking, and I thought overall JMU turned in a solid performance on Saturday, but briefly, some of the things I wasn't so fond of:

-There was no pass rush. AGAIN. JMU recorded 8 tackles for a loss, but if you look where they're coming from, it's a lot of linebackers and safeties, and not so much from guys coming unchecked up front. That being said, Defensive End and FOTB Tyler Snow was held out with a hamstring issue. I'm told he's doubtful to play at Akron, which is a major loss for another FCS upset bid. Mickey called him after the game "the most solid player" on JMU's defense. Big words when you have conference POY's in your linebacking corp. Still, I'm convinced that the pass rush will improve when Snow does.

-Hold onto the ball. Put gorilla glue on your fingers and rip them off at the end of the season. Wear Andre's ridiculous grippies (mandatory The League reference: check). Just hold on to the ball, for God's sake.

-Not crazy about bend, don't break coverage against CCSU. We have superior players and athletes all over the field. We can afford to cover receivers a little more tightly.

-We have GOT to figure out how to cover tight ends. JMU has been straight up bad covering tight ends ever since I got to Harrisonburg, and there were signs of that trend continuing. Teams know this about JMU by now. I don't know if it's mixing schemes or double-coverage, but we've got to do something other than just let tight ends crush us over the middle for 15 yards at a time.

-Stupid fans. I have ranted about getting fans into the game and leaving early. Now, I need you all to educate yourselves!

At the #jmu game, standing between the women's basketball team and two girls who don't know when offense switches to defense.
— Chase Kiddy (@ckiddysports) August 31, 2013

Now they're yelling things like 'watch left side!' Because, I guess, they think it makes them sound sporty. WBB just quietly observing.
— Chase Kiddy (@ckiddysports) August 31, 2013

We all need goals, I guess.



West Virginia 24, William & Mary 17

TOUCHDOWN MOUNTAINEERS. And my blood pressure comes off defcon 5.
— Chase Kiddy (@ckiddysports) August 31, 2013

AND THE WEST VIRGINIA DEFENSE ENDS A GAME!! #thingsIhaventsaidinawhile
— Chase Kiddy (@ckiddysports) August 31, 2013

Second year since 2011 #WVU trails FCS team at half, then shuts them out in second half. Will have full reaction on blog tomorrow.
— Chase Kiddy (@ckiddysports) August 31, 2013

That's pretty much all I have to say on that, lest I relapse back into a rage-fueled state of fanaticism that can't process a blue and gold number being less than a green and gold number, much less the implications of an A-gap blitz on a passing down.


I probably have a couple of quips left in me, but honestly, it's just lots of making fun of Virginia Tech. Oregon State lost? That's going to turn into me making fun of Virginia Tech. Kansas State lost? Nope, Virginia Tech. JMU is playing Akron next week? Nope, Virginia Tech.


I'll have the pregame up Friday evening, and I'm shooting for my annual 10 Things: NFL predictions midweek. Until then, may you tailgate preparations be swift and just.

Sunday Showcase: No Thanks, Sun Belt

(The following is part of a summer mini-series that will showcase old Breeze columns regarding JMU football that are still relevant. The series will reach its apex in mid-August, when I release my 2013 JMU football primer, forecasting the successes and failures of the 2013 team and commenting on the state and direction of the program.)


The Name: No Thanks, Sun Belt

The Date: April 4, 2013

The Idea: Conference realignment is an undeniable, unignorable problem that must be addressed, lest JMU fall into the bowels of irrelevance that FCS football seems destined for. As more and more championship subdivision powerhouses make the jump up, is the southern-centered Sun Belt really the right move for a burgeoning program in Harrisonburg, Virginia?

The Unedited, Original Version:


Let's play a word association game. When I say Sun Belt, you think of ... what?


I think of seventh grade history with Mr. Douglas. The Bible Belt. According to the lazy college student's bible (aka Wikipedia), the Bible Belt is "an informal term for a region in the south-eastern and south-central United States in which socially conservative evangelical Protestantism is a significant part of the culture and Christian church attendance across the denominations is generally higher than the nation's average."

So it makes sense, then, that the Sun Belt Athletic Conference has a pair of schools in Alabama, Arkansas and Louisiana.

Unfortunately for the Sun Belt, that's about all that the conference has, as six member institutions (Denver, Florida Atlantic, Florida International, Middle Tennessee State, North Texas and Western Kentucky) have left or announced that they will soon leave since the beginning of 2012.

But the Sun Belt has a plan. The conference will restock on Football Championship Subdivision powerhouses, loading up on meaty carbs like Georgia Southern and (Cr)App State. Whoops, how'd that parenthetical sneak in there? I suppose old habits die hard.

And, as reported by SB Nation, the embattled Football Bowl Subdivision conference has JMU next in line for an invite, should the Sun Belt suffer another departure.

Woah, now. Home girl say what? JMU is going to be in a conference with Idaho and New Mexico State? I've got some concerns.

JMU fans everywhere are losing their minds with excitement, demanding that JMU Athletics join hand in hand with the Sun Belt and sing Kumbaya. The Colonial Athletic Association is crumbling into that little ball of lint you found in your pocket during your cousin's wedding last summer, and JMU, sooner or later, is going to need a lifeboat off the Titanic.

Could this be a message from God, to JMU, to join the Sun Belt? We are, don't forget, talking about the Bible Belt.

Unfortunately, it is my firm theological belief that, even in Ordinary Time, God doesn't care where JMU plays its football. While the Sun Belt holds an uber-sexy annual matchup with Appalachian State (go Google "Rodney Landers," kids) and a move to FBS could instantly renew the potential juggernaut that is the Old Dominion-JMU Royal Rumble, it's probably not the right conference for JMU academically, culturally or geographically.

For example, the vast majority of JMU alumni live north of the North Carolina-Virginia border up into New England. Why would we play in a football conference that exists almost solely south of that border?

JMU's peer institutions are schools like William & Mary and Drexel. Should we replace them with Texas-Arlington and South Alabama?

That's all prologue to the shitstorm of Title IX implications a move to FBS would cause JMU. We'd need to add 22 new football scholarships alone, which would require 40 or 50 new scholarships for female athletes in turn. JMU would need to explore adding more sports into the mix, just at the theoretical baseline of playing in an FBS conference.

Unless Johnny Alger and Jeffrey Bourne plan to go Bonnie and Clyde on the Harrisonburg Savings and Loan -- I guess you can decide which one gets to be Bonnie -- I'm not sure where JMU can come up with this money. Don't forget, that's all on top of financing new building renovations, combatting tuition hikes and addressing the ignored-for-far-too-long salary issues of professors across the board.

I'm not saying JMU should sit on its laurels and do nothing but watch conference realignment pass it by. If anything, this administration's perceived apathy and disinterest in realignment is what has fans so worked up about a potential move in the first place.

What I am calling on all fans to do, whether you are a wide-eyed freshman or a seasoned 25-year alumnus, is not to speak out of ignorance. JMU finds itself in a tenuous situation; at some point in the near future, JMU athletics must land somewhere, or at least drastically shift the perception of the CAA as a dying brand by adding strong (read: not the College of Charleston) members to the conference.

But none of that makes it acceptable to buck at the first carrot dangled in front of this administration's faces. My rule of thumb: If it sounds like a gay man's fashion accessory, it's probably not the most viable of conference choices for JMU.

JMU has months, maybe even a couple years, to hammer out a financial action plan of how to handle a jump to the FBS level. Whether it's in the Sun Belt or a more apt location (like potentially the Mid-American conference), these challenges must be recognized and appropriately game-planned for.

At some point FBS football is going to come calling. As a community, we can't say "no" forever.





The Reception: While I did get plenty of laughs at the "gay man's fashion accessory" and the "Bonnie and Clyde" jokes, this column did not play well with a lot of alumni. Somehow, lots of JMU graduates got ahold of this column and didn't seem very fond of it. Some of the public responses:


"This reads like a message board rant. Let's not masquerade as a sports writer with unreadable opinion pieces like this. " -Richard Sines, Charleston, SC

"Speak for yourself. Most Alumni want this move. We are the ones that fund this University...   You've got it all wrong young college student. You take the better job, and then leave that job when the MAC comes calling." -Christopher McGowan, JMU alum

"Not to burst your lofty bubble, but from way out here on the west coast, we lob Virginia along with the rest of the 'Bible Belt.' Can you say Lynchburg?... GO SPARTANS!" -Chuck Gruber, San Jose State

"Hey Duke Fans! You all belong in the ACC.... for obvious reasons... natural fit... AND, with Maryland leaving, the DC Market is devoid (or soon will be), devoid of of [sic] an ACC Team. Its all about the money." Jeff Butchko, JMU alum/Clemson fan



Of course, I can't respond to anyone who ever gives me feedback. And I certainly wouldn't stoop to the level of entertaining some of these ridiculous responses...

Oh, who the fuck are we kidding? Yes I will.


-Chuck: Lynchburg hasn't been relevant since Jerry Falwell was alive. Stick to procuring 19th century French Merlots for the private selection of the winery that I'm sure that you own. Or better yet, continue to support that great University of yours. Is a San Diego State grad really the one to be giving advice on how to be relevant in sports?


-Jeff: while I admire the optimism, how many times has your mom had to tell you to stop drinking and posting things on the Internet? Do it again, and she's probably going to take away your computer privileges.

-Christopher: I agree completely with you, sir. Let's just say, to hell with it, jump to the Sun Belt, and then jump somewhere else when we get a better opportunity! I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier. It's a rather genius plan, because we don't need to spend any time worrying about geographic or cultural fits, whether or not it's the right plan short or long-term for the university. Let's just do it! And figure out the consequences later.

And the student-athletes? Well, who gives half a shit about them, right? I mean, they are just dumb jocks, after all, so just throw them around like they're chess pieces. Send the women's soccer team on a plane to Idaho for three days. Some day, the cost of all those $50,000 trips might be a tax write-off. And the kids will miss class, sure, but they don't need degrees anyway, right? They'll make millions on the professional women's soccer circuit, which is why you always see so many female athletes with zero career ambition. And they can make that class time up when they're ineligible to compete in postseason tournaments. Twice.


-And Richard, oh Richard: it reads like a sports opinion piece, because it is a sports opinion piece. If you'd taken 8 seconds to look into my background as a writer, you'd have realized that I write sports opinion pieces. Not only that, but plenty of people seem to like my tone and carefully formed opinions, including some people over at the Society of Professional Journalists. They gave me this tiny little award that says I may actually know what I'm doing. But hey, let's not masquerade as anyone with any sort of conceivable intelligence, right?


Man, I really shouldn't let that stuff build up for 4 months at a time. It appears I can be somewhat ugly, and perhaps even sarcastic, when provoked.

I do want to recognize one gentleman by the name of Bill McDonnell who called me out on something important. I refer to the Sun Belt as the "first carrot" being dangled in front of our collective faces, which was a sloppy mistake of mine. In truth, at the time this was published, I technically had no idea whether it was the first, second, or 19th carrot dangled in front of JMU. In early April, the JMU/Sun Belt news reverberated loudly through the Valley, and with frighteningly mixed results. (It seems the only thing JMU fans can agree upon is that we can't agree on much of anything.) But if there were other offers, they were quiet. The Sun Belt talks were the only ones loudly made public-- but that doesn't mean they were the only ones in existence.

Where Bill is a bit mistaken is that he operates under the impression that JMU "had many opportunities to move up to FBS over the years and chose not to make the leap. Our administration and athletic director should have been planning for this move many years ago but have done nothing except sit back and let other lesser universities move ahead of us." This, as I have learned, is not true.


The Relevance Today: Realignment hits at the heart of nearly every issue JMU faces in 2013. What Bill and many, many other fans fail to realize is that athletics decision-making is not a static process that occurs in a vacuum. There are plenty of factors, and even more people, outside of athletics that must be considered.

But if you look hard enough, there is a line of events and circumstances that traces back to the group's consistent reasoning for every decision made in the realignment era. This, I know.

But what is that reasoning? And is it still relevant? That is what I hope to delve into next weekend with the conclusion of this mini-series. I'll be making some JMU football predictions for this season, even with one less appendix on the team than this time seven days ago. More importantly, I will reveal some information I have uncovered over the past 4 months that may shed some light on past decisions and could even forecast future ones.

Man, that was some heavy stuff. Is it tailgating season yet? I long for the season where day-drinking is socially acceptable in any parking lot. Someone throw me a beer.

Sunday Showcase: Football Postscript, 2012 (November 29, 2012)

(The following is part of a summer mini-series that will showcase old Breeze columns regarding JMU football that are still relevant. The series will reach its apex in mid-August, when I release my 2013 JMU football primer, forecasting the successes and failures of the 2013 team and commenting on the state and direction of the program.)


The Name: JMU Football Postscript

The Date: November 29, 2012

The Idea: With a potential automatic bid to the FCS playoffs on the line, JMU shit the bed in the second half against ODU and finished 7-4... again. Four years after a national semifinals, fans have only witnessed one playoff appearance. The Class of 2013 will have never have seen a home playoff game. Is it time for a harsh evaluation of JMU's beloved football team on an organization-wide level?

The Unedited, Original Version:

As I sat watching this week’s Monday Night Football game between the Eagles and the Panthers with a few friends from Philadelphia, I started taking mental notes as to why the Eagles are so very bad this year. But there’s so many things inexplicably wrong with this team, it’s hard to find a good starting point.

Injuries to the offense have hampered the Eagles’ runningback LeSean McCoy and quarterback Michael Vick. Even when he is fully healthy, Vick – a signal caller who is as athletically gifted as they come – struggles to make pre-snap reads and seemingly routine throws. He often seems ill-suited to be running an offense at this level.

On defense, a star-studded cast of playmakers underperforms as key personnel aren’t living up to preseason hype. The secondary struggles to cover people effectively, and a supposedly elite pass rush fails to pressure the opposing quarterback nearly every weekend.

Clock management is a constant source of frustration for fans, some of whom are calling for their head ball coach to be fired. Andy Reid is a great guy with a winning record and a history of success in Philadelphia; it seems impossible that such a beloved man who has become the face of an organization could actually be fired.

Hey JMU fans … does this sound eerily familiar?

Everything I’ve just listed is 100 percent true of the National Football League’s most perplexing team, but it also reads a bit like an anatomy of JMU football in 2012. Why is it that a team with literally everything at its disposal can’t even make the playoffs, albeit in the country’s toughest conference? Thousands of fans asked themselves this on a chilly drive home from Harrisonburg two weekends ago, and most are still ruminating on the subject now.

As fans, we have a pathological need for answers that quench our disappointment. Unfortunately, it’s in the fabric of sports that we rarely, if ever, receive them.

Plenty went wrong in the confines of Bridgeforth Stadium this year that has nothing to do with JMU or head coach Mickey Matthews. Injuries up front eroded a pass rush that could have been extraordinary. In my discussions of JMU football with former players and fans, a few keen observers have highlighted the departure of Strength and Conditioning coach Jim Durning as a behind-the-scenes factor in the program’s performance.

The meteoric rise of Old Dominion’s football program has hurt the Dukes in the loss column as well as the recruiting field.

The schedule, while fan-friendly, did very little to beef up the program’s out-of-conference resume, an important factor when the Football Championship Subdivision playoff committee is deciding which girls to ask to the prom.

But Matthews and his staff cannot be absolved of all responsibility. The lack of a forward passing game at JMU has become so publicly mocked, it’s nearly cliché. Calling plays out of the shotgun in short yardage situations has become an inexplicable regularity. The defense, for all its talent, simply couldn’t cover anyone, and incomplete passes were often a result of happenstance rather than actual defensive prowess.

Most damningly, the offense failed to develop an identity as quarterbacks were shuffled and reshuffled like so many decks of cards. Mix in the option, the wildcat, zone-reads, trick plays and numerous other play calls, and it’s unclear as to whether JMU oversees a football program or a Bertie Botts Every Flavored Bean factory.

As a result, JMU message boards are full of young alumni, living in their Northern Virginia lofts, parading on about how Mickey Matthews should be fired as soon as yesterday. They should get back to their cubicle and concentrate on their spreadsheets, because inducing a coaching panic is the last thing the program needs right now.

While the expectations weren’t met and the class of 2013 will graduate without ever seeing a home playoff game, Coach Matthews deserves the trust of this fan base. I’m not a believer in national championships buying free rides, but there just isn’t enough here to trade Coach Matthews for someone who will only see JMU as a stepping stone.

In return, I don’t want to ever hear the words “a lot of teams would kill to be 7-4.” I’ve heard this from coaches, players and fans alike, and it must stop now. While it’s true that Northwestern Wyoming Polytechnical Center would kill for a 7-4 season, we’re not just any team.

JMU is a premiere organization in FCS football, and it’s high time we started acting like it.

 

 

 

 

The Reception: All over the place, as was expected. Like any good base, JMU fans shine resplendent with apathetics and diehards, critics and unconditionalists. Some fans were (and still are) dying to see someone not named Mickey Matthews calling the plays; whether or not this upcoming season will satiate their appetites for pass plays remains to be seen. Some fans believe it to be purely happenstance that JMU hasn't been truly good since 2008. However you see it, there's certainly enough blame to around, from one Linwood Rose all the way down to freshman backup safeties.

Let's all just agree that, if you live in a DC loft, you probably suck.

 

 

The Relevance Today: I've seen Coach Matthews two or three times this summer, and each time it's been at a bar next to my townhouse. We exchange pleasantries each time, and while I certainly won't begrudge ole Mick a beer or three, I hope he realizes how serious the fan base is getting about his job status. I stand by my statement that trading Mickey in for some successful up & comer like, say, Towson's Rob Ambrose, is a waste of nearly everyone's time. While I thoroughly enjoyed meeting Mr. Ambrose last season, and he's a great, well-spoken, and immensely likable fellow... well, if Rob Ambrose is still at Towson in eight years, I'll cheer for Pitt. It's like that, America.

But just because Mickey's staying power is valuable to me doesn't mean he's invincible. Last year's injuries along the defensive line made it clearer than ever to me that JMU needs a stronger S&C program, as I mentioned in the original piece. An alumnus of the 2004 national championship team has made that much clear over on jmusb, and he's hardly the only person to mention that as a former strength that has become a weakness. Pun 100% intended. 

Kidding aside, if JMU didn't have a bona fide Buck Buchanan award contender sitting in the middle of the linebacking corp, who knows what havoc might have been wrought upon the purple-and-gold-clad last season.

And the offense simply must find new ways to be dynamic this season. There's just no way around it. I think Michael Birdsong will be airing it out more this season. JMU will once again have potential superstar Andre Coble back in the mix after he missed last season due to academic ineligibility, but with the departure of centerpiece Brian Barlow, who knows how this group of receivers will fare? A new OC and quarterback might change things, but only if Mickey is willing to loosen up his vicegrip on controlling the offense, and the program as a whole is unafraid to pursue bold play-calling, such as the first half of the ODU game last November.

JMU has the stature, recruiting, personnel, and ability to contend for a national championship, this year and every year. The only question that remains is whether they put it all together, or let it fall apart again.

Well, I suppose there's that tiny question of whether or not JMU will, you know, ditch the CAA for FBS football, forever changing the entire landscape of collegiate athletics as the next big domino to fall in the cascading torrent that is conference realignment. But hey: that's what next Sunday is for, right?