Honestly, do I really even need to say anything else?
Whether you're new to the blog or it's just been a while, take note-- this is a recurring segment that takes place on Sundays in season. We'll look back at some notable scores and performances, and yours truly will offer some insight and guidance into what it all means.
Of course, as I spend between 8 and 10 hours watching football every Saturday, I typically end up blowing off a huge amount of work every weekend that I should otherwise be concentrating on. Now, as Sunday night rolls around, I realize I've got monster lists of things I need to do, like code entire document templates and oh yeah, buy groceries so I don't starve.
Oh well, I do it in the name of love. Love of football, that is.
In the meantime... I guess I'm hungover.
#11 WVU 69, Marshall 34
So I've decided to start all my 2012 Hangover entries with analysis of the most recent West Virginia game. This is about 20% because I am a raging homer, and 80% because-- in a completely unforseeable series of events-- the various branches of my family tree know some people, who work with these guys, whose cable guy's wife's second cousin's step-daughters boyfriend's dad reads my stuff. In fact, him and about half of the good folks of the Mountain State (the ones that actually have Internet, mind you) have somehow found their way to this blog.
Okay, clearly I exaggerate for effect, but really here-- I was at my cousin Allie's wedding a few weeks back, and one of my uncles told me he got everybody at his job to start reading this blog. Reguarly. Evidently this is some sort of religious experience for people I am related too. I am equally grateful and mystified. You guys know I'm just belching out facts in a quirky manner, right? Add in some sophistry and misplaced ego, and damn it Rachel Ray if you didn't just cook up this entire blog in front of a live studio audience.
Anyway, West Virginia really romped this weekend. In a debut weekend where a lot of offenses looked pretty flat, Geno Smith threw more touchdowns than incompletions. This offense, which essentially brings everyone back from last year's Orange Bowl
And before you go all "Oh Chase, it's just Marshall" on me, Marshall won a bowl game last year. Over a team with NFL draft picks. And they bring back more starters than WVU did. And then they made them look like shit.
Don't talk about the defense, because our third string was in before the end of the third quarter. When we play Nick Florence in late September, we can talk about the defense. The starters will actually stay on the field against Baylor.
#5 JMU 55, St Francis (PA) 7
For all my JMU readers, let me just say-- this is everything you could have wanted. The defense was literally impenetrable, the running game was dynamic, and the Thorpe-Barlow passing connection-- the only one that actually matters for anything-- seemed to be present and accounted for.
I'm gonna be at Alcorn State next Saturday, and I hope to see all of you out there too.
I'm (obviously) going to the West Virginia game in DC, and you're welcome at my tailgate.
Let's be real though. The JMU football season doesn't really start until the Dukes head up to Rhode Island. Hit the snooze button through September, if you so desire.
The real party starts on October 6.
#9 South Carolina 17, Vanderbilt 13
First of all, let's start with the breaking news: Steve Spurrier has remarked very, very recently that Carolina quarterback Connor Shaw can barely lift his arm and will be missing some practice this week. He took a late hit after rolling out of the pocket in Thursday night's game just before halftime in a typical SEC snoozer, one where the Gamecocks barely eeked out a win behind Lattimore's 100+ yards and 2 td's.
Lattimore looked good, all things considered. But he didn't look great. Add in Shaw being banged up already and that's not good news for a squad who just can't seem to dodge the injuries.
Good news- SC doesn't play a real team for three weeks. They can survive without Shaw as they tear up the defenses of East Carolina and UAB.
Missouri and Georgia in late September/early October might be a different story.
#24 Boise State 13, #13 Michigan State 17
You're thinking it; I'll say it. Thank God someone finally beat those blue-fielded ass holes from Idaho.
In all seriousness, Boise has no business being ranked in the Top 25. Kellen Moore and Chris Peterson are the only two guys making the Broncos any good, and the only guy wearing pads and a helmet has finally pissed his eligibility away. Peterson will keep Boise head and shoulders above the rest of the miserable programs they play against, but against a bona fide Big 10 contender? I don't think so. Thanks for playing, but now you should go back to beating up on overhyped east coast teams.
#8 Michigan 14, #2 Alabama 41.
Look, Meeeeechigan is exactly who I thought they would be- a top tier Big 10 team that will contend but not win the conference and get embarassed when they play a top program.
Michigan played this game without their starting runningback. Nick Saban had 6 months to prepare for this game. No analysis is even required on my part.
Warning: We are now entering a hate-fueled rage against the ACC. Any Virginia Tech fans or general ACC sympathizers, your conference still sucks. You have been warned.
NC State 21, Tennessee 35
Please remind me why NC State was my upset pick of the week?
I really like Mike Glennon, I think he's a top notch quarterback. One of the best in the nation. There are some really nice pieces on defense too. But this team needs some time before its actually gonna be worthy of some legitimate quiet, sleeper-style hype.
North Carolina 62, Elon 0
This is purely out of fairness that I'm even mentioning this score here. No one is impressed by this. No offense, D-Will.
William and Mary 6, Maryland 7
How many CAA schools are going to push Maryland to the brink in my college career? William and Mary would not only have beaten the Terps without their fourth-quarter go-ahead touchdown, they would have shut them out IN COLLEGE PARK. And JMU takes them to overtime my Freshman year, also in College Park? Good grief. Don't even show up to the buzzsaw West Virginia is gonna put the Turtles through in three weeks.
I learned a lot more about W&M in this game than I did the Ter(rible Ter)ps. Tribe might be back to compete for a title this year. They probably won't win one, but they look like a legit sleeper.
Murray State 3, #7 Florida State 69
The Sems are the only team to match WVU's week 1 offensive output. Too bad they did it against an FCS team, and one from a pretty terrible FCS conference at that. Not impressed... not yet.
#14 Clemson 26, Auburn 19
I refuse to believe in Florida State and their perennially overrated nature. I picked Clemson to repeat as ACC champions in the preseason, and this was a nice feather for their cap.
Then again, any win at all is a nice bounceback after you lost 70-33 in your last game. Just saying.
Georgia Tech at #16 Virginia Tech
So this game is actually Monday night and hasn't happened yet, but I'm putting Tech on upset alert. Their defense is stout and deserves all the praise it's getting, but triple options are always tricky beasts to handle. Logan Thomas isn't nearly as good as people suddenly seem to think he is. I think Tech is going to take a step back this year because of graduation and reasons out of their control. They just don't have the guys there on offense this year. For those reasons, this would actually be a huge win, if they can pull it out.
Oh, and one other thing- Tech will play in ESPN's yearly week one Monday night game, and follow that up with a week 2 Saturday game at home against an FCS squad. Kind of seems like a short week, right?
Nah, I'm sure they'll be fine. After all, it's not like they're gonna lose to an FCS team at home, right?
Other Scores Worthy of Your Attention
Kentucky 14, #25 Louisville 32
Yes, they're in the Big East. Yes, I hope they move to the Big 12. Yes, the hype is for real.
McNeese St 27, Middle Tennessee 21; Eastern Washington 20, Idaho 3
FCS beats FBS. This is office trivia people. You just won $5. You're welcome.
Washington State 6, BYU 30
Boy am I excited to see Mike Leach turn the Cougar program around. Bang up job so far.
San Jose St 17, #21 Stanford 20
Some people say the Stanford Cardinals are so much more than Andrew Luck. Some people say they're still gonna be a top 25 program.
Some people are wrong.
Notre Dame 50, Navy 10
Relevancy to be determined.
Northern Iowa 21, #12 Wisconsin 26
I was having trouble deciding whether I liked Nebraska or Wisconsin to win the Big 10. I was going to flip a coin. I think that might no longer be necessary.
Youngstown St 31, Pitt 17
Suddenly, Paul Chryst doesn't think Todd Graham is such an ass hole.
Wyoming 17, #15 Texas 37
This game was way closer than the score looks, which begs the question-- why do people have Texas in a freaking BCS bowl? Just saying, if you're defense is so legendary, you probably shouldn't give up 17 to one of the worst offenses in the country.
#4 Oklahoma 24, UTEP 7
Another game that was way closer than it looks. Sooners did not look like the best team in the Big 12. They certainly didn't look like the fourth best team in the country.
That's about it for this week's hangover. One final thing for my fellow Dukes before I go- a quick shoutout to JMUSB. If you don't read these guys regularly, start checking them out. They're quick-witted and gaining a more-than-modest following. Every week you can find previews, commentary, and most importantly, their beer of the week for tailgates.
It's good to have your priorities straight.
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